"BE HONEST" words and music by J. Bloom

Story behind the song:
In county jail, I was in isolation and had been for some time. But Cal, my most persistent halloo, finally came back after months of being absent.

He scolded the hell outta me. Up until his reappearance, I was constantly analyzing and finding faults in everyone else’s actions leading up to the crime while trying to ignore my own. That’s when Cal’s eyes dug into my soul and said, “But when you’re lying all alone, there is no one else to blame.”

He was right. And those words helped me understand that good intentions aren’t enough. Sometimes when bad things happen, we truly did mean well. But you can’t hide behind the victim role.

Reality is, even if we desired to do the right thing but were incapable of perceiving what it was, our actions still brought suffering.

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“Be Honest” on YouTube: https://youtu.be/QcezRX0EjmY

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“BE HONEST”
Words and Music by J. Bloom © 2021. All Rights Reserved.
Used with permission on The PrisonCare Podcast.


LYRICS:    

I couldn’t keep that promise, those words they fell apart
I just wanted to be honest, but I never had the heart

I said I’d keep you safe, I said I’d keep you warm
In the heat I’d be your shade, be your shelter in the storm
But this lion lost his mane when he ate from evil’s palm
Now these charcoal-colored veins are tearing out my arms

I couldn’t keep that promise, those words they fell apart
I just wanted to be honest, but I never had the heart
And you kept too many secrets, they terrorized the light
You said you would be honest, I guess you never had the mind

We spent out nights waiting for dawn, we gave each other every star
That country highway was our lawn, and we made our home out of that car

I dreamt I’d build a stage and there we’d always reign
Every night receive applause, counting roses every day
But there’s just this rusted cage, and the king and queen are slain
When you’re lying all alone, there’s no one else to blame

I just wanted to be honest
Oh, why couldn’t you be honest?
We could have saved our shallow hearts

When you can breathe, don’t look for me
That highway sleeps beneath the deep of yesterdays
Now I’m the one dancing in the sun
And those charcoal veins flow red today on a brand new stage

And now I know how to be honest and how to let go these captive stars
To myself I make this promise:
To speak my mind with a braver heart